What Joe Biden's Hair Says About Joe Biden

I'm no Derek Zoolander: I'll never be asked to show someone "Blue Steel", "La Tigre", or even the venerable "Magnum". So what I write here is not because I think politics is only for the beautiful. But I'll be darned if Joe Biden's hair doesn't say something about him...

So what is it? Is he stubborn, as in, "I've had bad hair plugs since I was 30, and I'll have bad hair plugs when they bury me!"

Is he flat out in denail? "What hair plugs? John Stamos and I have the same barber!"

Or maybe he's the ultimate regular guy. "I know I have hair plugs, you know I have hair plugs, EVERYONE knows I have hairplugs. So what?"

I don't know which one it is.

But I do know one thing, and a tip of the hat to my friend in DC who still thinks this could happen (stranger things have happened), if Mike Huckabee managed to become John McCain's running mate, Rogaine would see sales double.

Time for Quality Control at the DNews

An Open Letter to Joe Cannon

My Friend,

Though John McCain has taken to over-using the term, I sincerely mean it: I view you as one of my friends. You and Jeff Hartley hired me at the Republican Party just a few years ago. Your race in 1992 for U.S. Senate was one of my first political memories, and I still think, like my entire extended family does, that you would have been a fantastic Senator. You and my uncle are pretty tight, too. So I say this in all sincerity, and with no intentions to harm that relationship.

But I must be honest: Bob Bernick is truly costing the Deseret News credibility, and it's reflecting poorly upon you. Just take a look at the blog Rep. Steve Urquhart is updating almost daily the past week: www.steveu.com/blog . If this isn't a damning example of a journalist failing the integrity test, I don't know what is.

It's perfectly clear that Bob Bernick has ceased being useful as a reporter. Just take a look at the stories he's producing from day to day: It's a ridiculous compilation of what I call "calculator column inches", IE, Bob simply finds some numbers, adds verbs and nouns, and calls it a day. Between calculator columns, and his recent fabrication, feigned retraction, and John Florez's remarkably-poorly-timed reaction, the DNews is looking the fool. And Urquhart is calling you on it.

It's time for action, Joe. With all of the cutbacks recently, and the rumored "icy reception" you received upon taking over, you couldn't be in a more difficult position to make this decision. But when the GOP Legislators you worked to elect avoid talking to your political editor, but are more willing to talk to your liberal competitor, you have a problem.

It's time, Joe: Let Bob go. You'll take heat, but nothing you haven't dealt with before: Accusations of partisanship, or that it was an order from "the Brethren", or that legislators were controlling the paper. But Joe, your job isn't about them: It's about your reader, and instilling them with confidence that the DNews is what the New York Times claims to be: All the news that's fit to print. With Bob Bernick as your Political Editor and consistent headliner, you have a long ways to go.

Sincerely,

Brian Maxwell

WWJD? "Vote for me," says Bennion Spencer.

Every so often, a candidate says something so dumb, so conceited, and so self-righteous, you have to question their grip on reality.

Bennion Spencer just had one of those moments. Let's let the man speak for himself, according to the Salt Lake Tribune story: http://www.sltrib.com/ci_10207723

"If Bennion Spencer wasn't the Democratic candidate in Utah's 3rd Congressional District, he'd be working on publishing a book he wrote about how Jesus might vote - and he recently said he thinks the son of God would vote for him. "I think he would," Spencer told The Tribune, although he later backed away and said he couldn't say for sure how Jesus would vote....Spencer said he thinks the Bush tax cuts hurt families and Jesus would oppose making them permanent..."

Sorry, Bennion, but I'll leave saying who Jesus would vote for to...Jesus.

Can we all just agree, right here, right now, that any candidate using this sort of rhetoric is disqualified from our support? Because I can tell you one of the following is true about Mr. Spencer:

1. Bennion is so religiously inclined, he doesn't even realize how silly these remarks are, and is thus unqualified to serve.

2. Bennion is literally off-his rocker, and thus, unqualified to serve.

Mr. Spencer, good luck against Chaffetz. You are going to need it. For any faults Jason Chaffetz may have, choosing his words poorly in public is certainly not one of them. That's the main reason he took Cannon down: His grass-roots organization combined with an eloquent public speaking style made Chaffetz the perfect storm.

And his response to Spencer's comments was picture perfect:

"I believe there is a proper role of religion in our society and we ought to promote that and not run away from it, but I don't think it's appropriate to guess which candidate Jesus Christ would support. That's sacrilegious to me."

Score one for Chaffetz, in a battle where he didn't need any more advantages.

Paris Hilton for President

To those who know me, I've been less than thrilled with our choices for President:

One one side, we have Barack Obama. He has approximately ZERO experience that applies towards being President (2 years in the Senate? Cmon, Merrill Cook was in the House for 4!), his policies started out WAAAAAYYYY out left to court Dem Primary voters, and suddenly he's shifting quickly towards the middle. Plus, he's got a following not unlike the Grateful Dead. I'm talking both passion and make-up here...

On the other side, we have John McCain. He has decades of experience in Congress, and to his credit, he's actually tried to stop government spending from going out of control...and even though he failed, he's not an earmarker for his state. He was a decorated war hero, tortured and permanently maimed for serving his country. But he's older than Reagan was, and looks more frail, and he doesn't seem to have a core political philosophy, other than being a populist. What direction would he take the country? I just don't know....

But now, a newcomer is altering the race substantially. I have my doubts about Obama and McCain and the youth vote. But Paris Hilton for President? I'm guessing 18-24 year olds turn out in droves... Plus, Paris could keep those pesky photographers at bay with the Secret Service...

Check out her energy policy at http://www.funnyordie.com/.

County Council to Hogle Zoo: Show Me the Money!

I noticed this http://www.sltrib.com/news/ci_10099732 in the Trib this morning. Basically, Hogle Zoo is attempting to convince the County Council to reconsider their actions on the Zoo Bond. You can read the article, but the County Council, Republican controlled 5-4, told Hogle Zoo that in order to get their $65 Million bond on the ballot, they would have to raise the $20 Million they promised the County Council they would eventually raise to fund the project before taxpayer funds are used.

This has Democrats and Zoo supporters up in arms, saying that the standard being set is too high. In fact, the Zoo folks are wondering whether they'll put the bond issue on the ballot at all.

Since I actually pay property taxes now, I've earned my opinion. And I'm with the Republicans on this one.

Reason: I know it's a small tax hike to my newly purchased town home (10 bucks a year or so, if I recall), but if Hogle Zoo says they can raise $20 Million in private money to fund this project, I think, as a taxpayer, it is my right to ask them to "show me the money". Because I would hate to think that, call me a pessimist if you like, Hogle Zoo gets the cash infusion, then falls short on fundraising, and either A) comes back to the taxpayers for more, either via ballot initiative or the County Council, or B) just scales back their projects, and simply use the taxpayer money to create an exhibit that doesn't meet the standards being sold to the taxpayers in order to pass the ballot initiative.

To put it in poker terms, this may be the County Council Republicans doing a fantastic job of not only calling Hogle Zoo's bluff, but raising them as well. And Hogle's response says to me that they aren't holding the cards to back the chips on the table.

Even if it gets on the ballot, I may still vote "no". But I'm glad Republicans like Mark Crocket, David Wilde, Marv Hendrickson, Michael Jensen, and Jeff Allen are watching out for my money, and are making sure that, if I do get a property tax hike, Hogle Zoo can't play games with that money.

Now, about that soccer stadium...